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Decide or the universe will decide for you.

Firstly, fortnightly seems to be the release time on these bad boys. Hope they’re treating you well. I’ve got Barbercraft this weekend and it’s already ten past midnight but I was dumb enough to toss a coin and ask ‘Should I write a blog post tonight?’

The coin spoke …. fuck.

Also, why am I taking orders from a coin??

Because I couldn’t make the decision on my own.

Couldn’t?!

No, I DIDN’T make the decision on my own and left it up to chance instead of stating what I wanted and pursued it. Now I’m here writing this article instead of sleeping.

Guess that’s what we’re talking about.

IF YOU LEAVE SOMETHING UP TO THE REST OF THE WORLD – THE WORLD WILL DECIDE FOR YOU AND YOU WON’T HAVE A CHOICE – IN ANYTHING.

This can include your job, your lovers, your friends and ultimately your life.

I see people every day who have no idea what they’re doing with their lives. They coast through school, then into university to study whatever they hated the least at school (mine was biology). They ultimately attend university or have a ‘gap year’ because they have no clue what they actually want to do with themselves. They go to university or work a shitty job and by the end of it, all they want are better hours, better pay and to eat something other than instant noodles. Their spark for life and desire to chase their dreams gets swapped for their desire for a stable paycheque and nice things. You end up working a job you either hate or tolerate, with no idea what you want to do with yourself. You fill your life with plastic trinkets, video games, Netflix and the gym with no actual goal in mind for any of it. You then fall into the consumer trap of ‘I want to own my own home’ without ever asking “why do I want any of this?”

It’s the same with love, you go to a party, get fucked up, wake up next to someone, if you like the look of them you do it with them again until you’re both like ‘yeah sure let’s make this a thing’.
You end up in a relationship based on habit and comfort instead of a union of two souls that are working towards something together – which is ultimately THE point of a relationship: To grow together in a beautiful way and create something bigger than the two of you. Let me tell you, I’ve had this and it was one of the best times in my life and it fell apart when I started focusing on my lover instead of the vision (we may delve into this one day as it’s fucking important but the topic is still a little too raw for me to discuss objectively)

We are all adrift in a bountiful and endless sea. Some of us know where we wish to end up and work towards it, while most people are content just drifting instead of figuring out where they want to go and finding a way of getting there. Yes captaining a ship is hard work – yes you have to man the sails and manage the rudder but ultimately it’s better than eventually drifting into some rocks or being eaten by a kraken (cunty girlfriend that drifts you into marriage whom eventually rapes you in divorce court for everything you ever owned). You’re the only one who can do it and figure out what you truly want.  Also, it is totally ok to have the desire to support someone else in their vision if you believe in them and their goal – but you’d better actually believe in that person and their goal otherwise it’ll ultimately end in heart ache. I am aware while there are natural leaders out there, there are also people who WANT and ENJOY fulfilling the support role and there’s nothing wrong with that but I digress.

“If we don’t discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us”
-William Feather
Don’t let habit and convenience make you into something you don’t want to be. Don’t do something that’s slowly killing you inside just because it’s easy. It’s your life and it is your right, nay responsibility to do with it what you DESIRE. If you clearly define your goal and take just one step towards it every day you will be miles ahead of everyone else in a matter of weeks – and you’ll be so much happier.

Finally remember this all too important point:  ‘Indecision is still a decision’

Also, no vague goals – something tangible – something you can visualize, something you can hold onto when it gets hard.

That’s all I’ve got today, I am out of steam. Have yourselves a great day, wish me luck at Barbercraft and I’ll make sure the next one is more punchy. If this article wasn’t up to snuff let me know via comments or email but my excuse can be found here.

Also if you haven’t already check out Captaining your own ship, the sea and Why am I doing what I’m currently doing. They’re tied to this topic.

Lastly, if you want a great audio book on the subject ‘Out Witting the Devil’ by Napoleon Hill discusses this rather beautifully.

If you would like to support my cause feel free to have a look at my online store,  follow me on the social medias or comment below -feedback is always appreciated!

 

 

 

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Be mindful of what you feed your mind

Every day we feed our minds with a lot of shit: advertising, images and scenes from movies and TV, song lyrics, other people’s negativity and criticism, memes and a lot of other junk. At the best of times this junk will just waste our brain power and distract us from what we truly want to focus on. At its worst it will make us do stuff we don’t actually want to do, like buying and consuming a double down, jerking it and wasting our vital life force or something equally pointless. Even more so this negative junk can affect us long term and cause us to think less of ourselves and form bad habits.

So first, I suggest you take a minute to examine the junk that you put into your head as well as your body and see if there’s some fat that needs trimming. This post however focuses specifically on the messages fed to us by those around us and by ourselves.

The most powerful voices in our lives are our parents, our lovers and our friends.
But there is one voice that rules them all: Our own voice –both the external vocal and the internal dialogue.

The power to get what you desire and to become what you want lies in the words you think and the words you say to yourself. What you imagine is also incredibly powerful- couple this with persistent imagination and constant mantras you have the power to create your own paradigms and subsequently the life you live. This, like all things works with positive thoughts as well as negative thoughts.

Suppose a farmer has some land, and it’s good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn’t care. It’s up to the farmer to make the decision.

We’re comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn’t care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn’t care what you plant.

Now, let’s say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand- one is a seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds-one corn, the other nightshade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land…and what will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.”

As it’s written… “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.”

The Strangest Secret – Earl Nightingale

I cannot emphasise how important this analogy is to understand! If you can internalise this and apply it you’ve basically won the battle and can win at life.

Like everything, this comes down to training and practice– remember the more you do something – the easier it gets. Practice being mindful of the thoughts you feed yourself – both vocal and non vocal. You’re the one who controls them. Practice catching yourself thinking or saying something that hurts or limits you and change your dialogue – it’s as simple as the difference between I will try to _____ and I will ______.

Pretty sure a big eared midget once said:
“Do or Do not, There is no Try.”
Master Yogurt Startrek SG 1 The Phantom Galactica Strikes Back

Common examples of shit I hear people say and shit I’ve said to myself in the past:

“I’ll never be able to do that”
“I can’t dance”
“I can’t sing”
“I always get sick during ______”
“I’m never on time”
“I’m bad at finishing things”
“I don’t have the energy”
“I’m always tired when I get home”
“I’m no good at _______ why bother”
“It’s too hard”
“I’m too busy”
“If only I had ______ then I’d ______”
“I can’t live without _______”
“This is how I’ll always be”
“I need ______ to be happy”
“I’m too stressed to quit smoking”
“I wish I could do that but….”

Do you get the idea? These are examples of the little bits of bullshit we’re constantly feeding ourselves. These things keep us doing the same shit over and over and prevent us from developing into better stronger people.

When we hear these things not only does our conscious mind hear it, our sub conscious and unconscious mind hear it as well. Our minds take in, and process accordingly – so we’ve got to be careful what we feed them.

Usually, all that needs to change is wording or simply not allowing ourselves to say the shit that keeps us from growing.

“I’m getting better at dancing” instead of “I can’t dance”
The first step is being aware of it, the second is adding new personal dialogues (loud ones that rhyme are particularly powerful –in the morning and before bed for faster results) the third is eliminating or changing the old dialogues and the final step is to practice all three steps until they become second nature.

It’s a journey, sometimes you’ll do it a lot, sometimes you’ll forget – the tools are always there for you when you choose to use them.

Within your mind lie the very implements for your salvation or destruction. Use them wisely.

This ties into the poorly referenced story of two wolves – pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before. Paraphrased: Inside everyone there are two wolves a good wolf that represents light, love and bravery and a bad wolf that represents darkness, hatred and fear. These wolves are constantly at war. Which wolf wins? The one you feed.

On dealing with people who refuse to accept this paradigm: You can’t change them, only they can change themselves. All you can do is change and grow yourself and lead by example. You can guide and instruct those that are curious but there is no sense trying to help those who don’t want to be helped or are determined to keep you down. You can tell someone everything I’ve told you and they may take it in or they may laugh at you. They may say “that’s just how it is” or “I can’t change” or some other defeatist answer –you’ve done your part, move on and limit your time around them if they’re hindering you.

Disclaimers
Be careful not to dismiss all negativity or criticism. Advice and criticism can sometimes be grounded and constructive. Take it in earnestly, examine it and then decide if it’s valid – if it comes from several sources then it’s more likely to be valid – you need to be self aware, introspective and honest with yourself. The idea of this isn’t about living in lala land and lying to yourself, it’s about shedding the negative lies you’ve been listening to for years and putting in place the truths you know, deserve and are capable of attaining.

Homework
This week, I want you to try being mindful of your inner dialogue as well as what you say to others. Try to stop thinking in terms of lack and limitation and think in terms of prosperity and growth – encourage yourself and others to grow and develop instead of allowing and maintaining mental road blocks.  If you can make the effort you will see results both in your own life and the lives of those around you.

Extra credit
Pick one particular lie that you tell yourself regularly and either change it or replace it entirely with a new truth. Repeat it at least 10 times a day with conviction –out loud and see what happens.

Lastly, I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU GET ON! I want to hear if this was helpful, I want your questions if you have any and I want to help guide you guys towards being all that you can be(ard). Go forth and feed the right wolf.

Readings
If you want more on this consider “The Game of Life and How to Play it” or “Your word is your Wand” both by Florence Scovel Shinn (I fucking love this woman, I wish I could go back in time, eat her box and give her every ounce of pleasure I am capable of giving in gratitude for her work).

Earl Nightingale’s The Strangest Secret

http://www.oneyoufeed.net/ – I haven’t comprehensively been through this website but the general content is exceptional and very akin to this topic.

If you would like to support my cause feel free to have a look at my online store, get in touch, follow me on the social medias or comment below.

This post is dedicated to Summer and Jamee, both of whom inspired me to get this written sooner than what I’d had planned. I hope you take something from this.